Marcy Kelly
I have always been aware of being favored by God, much like an indulged princess, her Father’s little girl. I took for granted being spiritually gifted, but didn’t understand what to do with the gifts.
Being gifted sometimes confused and frightened me, as I never discussed the issue with anyone and felt different from others. I can recall even as a very young child that I had numerous experiences related to an ability to accurately read people and to offer insights far beyond my years. These experiences, which at the time I failed to attribute to the proper source, left me feeling unnerved and much like “some kind of freak.” I had yet to merit the grace that our benevolent Lord had bestowed on me.
In my mid-20’s I began working with troubled adolescents. My gifts became apparent to myself and others as my interventions worked to make dramatic changes in the lives of many of the youth I counseled. A number of troubled youth on my caseload over the years turned their lives around and became productive members of society. Two of them ended up with master’s degrees in social work, and one ended up working for me as a youth counselor. The Lord patiently indulged me as I proudly took credit for it all.
In the summer of 1984, however, I had an experience that forever changed my perception of the Lord and his relationship to me and to others. Before beginning a therapy session with a particularly difficult adolescent girl, I prayed that I would know the right words to say to her. My mind felt blank as I sat before the young woman and she began to speak. As I responded to her words I felt as though my body was being swept by soft sparklers. I recall feeling absolute shock at the realization that it was not I who was actually responding to this young woman, but the Lord. After this session, the young woman began to make significant changes in her attitude and behavior which she openly attributed to what I had said to her. She would quote my words and wisdom to others quite often. I, however, was a little embarrassed as I knew it hadn’t really been my words that had inspired her so much. After this experience, I would pray regularly for the Lord to use me as his instrument for His work.
Finding a church home had been an unsuccessful quest of mine for a number of years. In the summer of 1996, I prayed fervently to find such a spiritual base. This time, I heard God’s message loud and clear. I was to belong to Blessed Sacrament Parish in Seattle. He didn’t discuss with me how to overcome the problem of being Protestant in a Catholic Parish! By this time, I was becoming a much more obedient daughter of the Lord, so I didn’t question His reasons, I just converted and joined the Catholics. Immediately after becoming a member of Blessed Sacrament, I took the Called and Gifted workshop. The program taught me a great deal, not the least of which was that I was not alone in being spiritually gifted, nor was I crazy in the belief that I was so. The door to the Lord’s efficacious grace “slammed open” as my free consent was now given for Him to use me for the effects that He divinely intended. He invited me to work for His good in a number of extremely difficult and challenging situations. One such challenge He invited me to was to rescue an investigation unit for child abuse and neglect that was chronically understaffed, tenuously trained, and terrifyingly behind on investigations and assessments. I’d like to say I didn’t hesitate when He called me to this task, but that wouldn’t be true. I really didn’t want to take on this challenge, which I knew would be heartbreakingly overwhelming, but as an obedient daughter, I could not say no. The Lord provided me with sufficient grace, energy and gifted staff to work for me to accomplish this task. The unit was later honored as the Washington State, Region 4 Division of Child and Family Services, Team of the Year for 1998.
“Moreover, by uniting their forces, let the laity so remedy the institutions and conditions of the world when the latter are an inducement to sin, that these may be conformed to the norms of justice, favoring rather than hindering the practice of virtue. By so doing they will impregnate culture and human works with a moral value. (Lumen Gentium 36,5,3.)
The Lord does not call us to do things that are necessarily easy. In fact, the opposite appears true (the cross being a case in point). I’ll have to admit that even as a dutiful daughter, I have been more than once tempted to plug my ears when He calls with a new assignment. However, as my trust in the Lord increases, His trust in me has correspondingly increased. As I grow in faith, obedience and love for Him, the intensity and extent of the gifts or graces given to me and the difficulty of the challenges I am faced with expand. Not only does He call me to use His gifts to make changes in my own life and to impact the lives of my loved ones, but to make an impact on the larger world. What was sown on good soil is the man who hears the message and takes it in. He it is who bears a yield of a hundred- or sixty- or thirty-fold (Mt.13:23). These are the only gifts I know which the Giver requires the recipient to give away—to as many people as possible.