I attended the Called and Gifted Workshop here at St. Dominic’s Church in San Francisco, where 125 of us—men and women of all ages—happily crowded into the parish hall for about ten hours. By the end of the last session, I thought of a quote from St. John of the Cross: "If you think you are seeking for God, He is seeking you even more!" Not only was the room filled with seekers-after-God, but also the Holy Spirit’s presence was virtually palpable! We learned how much God wants us to claim the divine gifts He gave us in Baptism and Confirmation. As fantastic as it sounds, every one of us has been given charisms, God’s gift of supernatural tools, to help us accomplish our supernatural mission. These charisms are very real, and they can be tested and discerned objectively.
After the workshop ended, I realized that my weekend experience was like the first time I wore contact lenses. I have terrible eyesight, but I thought I could see fairly well through my thick glasses. Yet the first time I looked at the world through new lenses, I was dumbfounded! I had never known the intensity of colors, the subtleties of light and shadow, the distinctness of edges, or the depth and beauty of what I saw. And now I was seeing my spiritual journey through "new lenses".
I learned that the marvelous gifts God has given me are always for the sake of others. They are particular and unique; someone else has been given just the right gifts to take up where mine leave off. If we all, as fellow parishioners, combine our gifts in a prayerful and practical way, we become the Body of Christ in a very real sense, and we literally can change the City of San Francisco! We have been given the means to stand in Jesus’ place, and to bring Him to the people who live and work around us—people who otherwise might never touch Christ!
To my surprise, I collided with my first setback a few days later. In my joy of new possibilities, I forgot how headstrong and set in my ways I am. I was resisting my first meeting as a "fellow traveler" in the RCIA class. I realized that I still wanted to play the game by my own rules, on my own turf. I just didn’t want to spend my "free" time! I suppose I was also dealing with fear: fear of the challenges as well as the joys of the gifts; fear of how God might changeme if I really allowed Him to use me to do His work in the world; fear of losing myself and my old view of the world; even fear of being truly happy.
The greatest lesson I’ve learned is that if I don’t spend my gifts and talents, if I don’t give everything I have for the Kingdom of God, then my gifts will mean next to nothing, and I may lose the treasure I’ve been seeking!
Francene Stonebraker is a parishoner at St. Dominic’s Parish in San Francisco, California. Reprinted from the parish bulletin.